Love doesn’t always last forever. Sometimes marriages end in divorce and that’s just the way it is. Getting divorced can be a smooth process, but it can also be painful and tumultuous.
There’s no ‘right’ way to get divorced, and there’s certainly no such thing as a perfect divorce. However, there are a few things both parties should consider while going through a divorce.
Let’s Talk About: Dealing With Divorce
Just because your marriage didn’t work doesn’t mean you failed or that you’ll never find happiness again. Getting a divorce doesn’t mean one person did something horribly wrong, sometimes two people just don’t work together. And that’s ok!
Remember that you’re not alone. In fact, in Hong Kong more than 20,000 couples got a divorce in 2018, according to Statista. Singapore has a divorce rate of just under 7% for 2019, according to the Department of Statistics.
Divorces can certainly entail nasty arguments and power struggles, but not all do. While it’s difficult, try and remember that you did love your spouse at one point. To help the process go a little smoother, we’ve compiled the cost of divorce, a few important notes to consider, and some general tips.
The Financials Of A Divorce
When most people think of a divorce, they think about the emotional trauma. And of course that exists. But, getting a divorce can also create a financial burden. A lot of different factors play into the cost of a divorce, which can vary greatly.
Things like having children, the division of assets, and mediation all affect the cost of getting divorced. An uncontested divorce can set you back from S$1,500 to S$3,500 while a contested divorce can cost as much as S$35,000 in Singapore. In Hong Kong a divorce costs between HK$15,000 to HK$20,000 on average.
It’s important to remember that these are only upfront costs. Child support, alimony, and the general division of assets require longer-term financial responsibility. Of course having a prenup can simplify a divorce, but going from a dual-income to a single-income household isn’t easy.
Things To Consider During A Divorce
Your kids. If you have children they are the first thing you need to think about during a divorce. No matter how bitter your separation is you want your child’s life to remain as unscathed as possible. Make sure that you cover inflation in child support payments, devise a college plan, and ensure the parent(s) paying child support have life and disability insurance.
A new budget. Both parties will need to create a new budget to cope with lifestyle changes. To do this, make sure you have a firm understanding of your personal financial situation. Know your income, expenses, debts, and any alimony or child support you will be paying or receiving. Outline your daily, monthly, and long-term expenses to help you adjust to your new financial norm and avoid overspending.
Managing stress. Going through a divorce can be scary, stressful, and overwhelming. It can leave you bitter and full of resentment. Take it day by day. If you need one a mediator can help you avoid power struggles. Talking with a counselor or support group can help you remember that you’re not alone. Take time to explore your interests and get to know yourself outside of your relationship.
Tips For A Happy(er) Divorce
Not all divorces have to be as messy and dramatic as the horror stories we’ve all heard. It’s possible for both parties to leave divorce proceedings equitably, or even feeling happy. The following tips can help ease the pain of ending your marriage.
- Don’t gossip about your divorce
- Listen to professionals- not just your friends and family
- Close your joint accounts
- Update important information (i.e. taxes, wills, property titles)
- Talk with a financial planner, not just lawyers
- Try and put yourself in their shoes for the best long-term outcome
- If you have kids don’t villainize each other